Today in the US we celebrate Mother’s Day. I want to take a moment to wish all of my
friends who are mothers a beautiful day. I would, for the record, like to lodge a complaint, however. The woman was in London back in March on the very day they celebrate Mother’s Day. She is now getting 2 this year and I’m not certain that is allowed. Nevertheless, I want to wish everyone who is a mom, has a mom or has lost a mom a very peaceful and happy day.
Now I think it’s very important that I clarify one thing…the woman is not my mom. She is my soulmate. My real mom was a cat that has long since passed away. She took good care of me and my brothers and sisters. My first human mom was not good to me. Because I have a problem with my tummy, she kicked me out of the house. I was on my own for a while but then I stumbled upon the woman’s yard…and that’s when I met her and knew she was mine for life. I am hers and she is mine. Forever. No matter what.
To my great dismay, she is indeed the mother of the disgusting vile beasts in this house. It’s a filthy job…cleaning all of those stinky hineys, washing up after all of their messes, and simply just putting up with their vileness. I’ve got to hand it to her…it’s a nasty job but someone has to do it.
So, out of respect for her today I am going to do my best to keep peace in the house for a full 24 hours. I have threatened every single beast in the house within an inch of their lives if they act up or make any messes today.
And so…for the woman and every other mother in the world…my wish is for you to have a cat vomit-free, stinky litter box-free and purr-filled day!
Very truly yours,
Bob the Writer